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redditI use my limited understanding of Science to figure out the realistic implications of cards. Part 11: Hog Mountain

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Clash Royale is a cartoony, unrealistic fast-paced battle game where walking kamikaze snowballs do battle against deadly pancake ovens. It's not realistic in the slightest, and I aim to remedy that. I'm no scientist, but I'm armed with Bill Nye, Wikipedia, and a Google search which confirms that nobody's done something like this before. All that said, let's get started.

Before we start, a wild boar averages about 150 centimetres in length at adulthood. The Hog Rider has a length of about 2 tiles in game, meaning each tile is 75 centimetres in length and width.

Elite Barbarians: I don't know what to say. They're pretty normal. They run at 4 kilometres an hour, which is embarrassingly slow.

Firecracker: Being hit by a firework causes severe tissue damage and broken bones, and can inflict blindness. And the Firecracker isn't just clipping them by accident; she's firing bombs head-on over and over again. Sparklers burn at a minimum of 689 degrees Celsius, meaning that the bones of the Firecracker's victims are going to burn.

Heal Spirit: The Heal Spirit, when it attacks, makes itself disappear and creates some sort of healing energy. This invokes Einstein's famous equation, E=MC squared, which deals with turning matter into energy, and vice versa. Let's seriously lowball the Spirit's weight: Half a kilogram. That comes out to 44937758 gigajoules, which is nearly 15000000 (15 million) times the energy required to vaporize a single human. (Which, by the way, is 2.99 gigajoules.) The Heal Spirit creates enough energy to annihilate everybody in Ireland three times over.

Bomb Tower: Like the Bomber, it kills everyone in a 5-metre radius instantly, including itself. Moreover, the tower is only depicted with one bomb in game.

Rage: The Rage, as mentioned in the Lumberjack's section, is a bottle of highly pressurized alcohol, explaining how it gets everywhere. The troops it affects do become more aggressive, but also have impaired judgement and motor skills, overall decreasing their combat effectiveness.

Cannon Cart: What applies to the Cannon also applies to the Cannon Cart. The cannonball is of a size and speed far too slow to affect anything.

Fisherman: The world record for pulling a weight is 104.55 kilograms. The Fisherman could feasibly pull regular sized troops, but would be unable to budge Giants and PEKKAs. Even being able to pull regular troops isn't a foregone conclusion, as the Fisherman is not visibly muscular and many of the troops carry heavy objects. Also, the speed at which he pulls troops is not realistic. It takes 7 frames to move a Royal Giant (or any other troop) about 1.2 tiles. It takes just under 0.1 seconds for the Fisherman to move something 75 centimetres, or about 0.12 seconds to move something 1 metre. For comparison, the Fisherman is pulling things at 27 kph, or 17 mph.

Ram Rider: Fun fact: The Ram Rider's ram is slightly above average in length, measuring 1.5 metres compared to the average of 1.3 metres. Even so, a fully grown goat on the highest end can only carry about 50 pounds, meaning that the rider is basically guaranteed to break the ram's back.

By the way, I know this is all outdated now, but I'm going to continue using the arena card distributions from before the Arena 15 update for consistency reasons.

submitted by /u/Town_of_Tacos
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